| 12~17~99 |
| Out of obligation I'm typing this. Technically I am obligated
to no one. This isn't a cash venture or assignment. It's simply
my Home Page. Golly, I have a home on the web. What a stupid
concept. My home is a bunch of files taking up unnecessary space
on a server in the cold of Minnesota that I allow anyone and their uncle
access to. That's not my home. The computer host to the files
is in a home at least. A home of two friends. Which makes my
home on the web more homey than most peoples' but don't be fooled.
It really can't be considered a home. It sure as shit ain't hospitable.
The day has been dull and ordinary. I am dull and ordinary. I really can't expect one day, a 24 hour period to liven up my dull and ordinary status. It isn't fair for me to put the pressure on the day. There I things I could have done to make the day less dull and ordinary, but I figure if I do those things and start to do them everyday then they too become dull and ordinary. Best to sit on my ass rereading The Watchman. Whittle away my last Friday as an unemployed man by reading funny books. With the job on the horizon that will occupy 40 hours of my life per week plus commute time, I hope I don't shirk the work I do on this, my home on the web. This thing has been updated every weekday since September 7th and I intend to keep it up, but they make us work in order to pay the rent and eat the food. This is only temporary though. In the end I can only work for myself. Remedial labor and technical work for corporations or any faceless profiteers is what saps the life out of most of America. Without doubt it is responcible for the majority of all these pychological illnesses 7 out of ten American's suffer from like the popular statistic says. Ultimately, I'd rather not work if it means mental illness. I'll have to wait to see what peculiar brain bugs start shimmying their way up from the depths of the corpus collosum with the advent of the Earth Link business. Once again, two weeks of training prior to actually taking phone calls. This time I'll try not to get fired before training is complete. My lack of luster today is probably caused by the distinct non-lack of alcohol yesterday. The shit is so much fun but unfortunately it is also poison that brings about depression. As seems to be the case today. If only alcohol wasn't a depressant. Jesus, the flood gates would sure open up then. Open your mouth and never stop pouring. That'd be the life. But it isn't and if it was my home on the web would be in a shambles. My home in the world would most likely too. Why can't I do all the drugs I want without any retribution or negative side effects? Life just isn't fair sometimes. |