Today a request!
Everybody start a web of hate.

Create page after page of detailed plans that explain how you will go on a violent rampage at a bar, school, shopping mall, wal-mart, planned parenthood, church bazaar, political party HQ, or college campus.  Name your weapons after characters from popular T.V. shows, films, or Video Games.  Write lovingly about your adoration of drugs like PCP and LSD and L.Co.Hol.  Tell the world how you'll do it.  Say things like, "Fools!  It was here in black and green for all to read all along.  If only you would have paid more attention to me!!  Little did you know a killer was in your midst," then pass a little guilt, "You're all to blame.  You could have stopped this!  You could have saved me!"

Now, that you've named your gun something special along the lines of 'Buffy the mall trash slayer' or 'Benson,' go on into garrulous depth how you and Buffy will cleanse the world of those who charge extra for sour cream at Taco Bell and then hardly put on more than a woodtick could suck up in one sitting.  It isn't worth a quarter gaddamn you!!!  
If you need ideas, right now blaming your ensanguined rampage on Y2K fears will both be timely, and show human frailty.  Showing human frailty over the Y2K paranoia will be a good thing for your defense attorney in case you chicken out and don't blow your own head off at the end of the "Feast of Lucifer's Armies on the Wretches of South Memorial Central High."  Oh, and don't forget to give your murderous assault a name for the media to latch on to.  
If you really mean business, send your URL to the media just before packing your duffel bags with explosives and whatever protective gear you may need.  Do this even if you don't mean business.  If cops gun you down be sure to cry out some poetic lament, "Oh, man's injustices to man!" or eerie condemnation, "Fie on the decadent decryers of Charles Schultz and the lovable 'Peanuts' gang for happiness truly is 'a warm puppy!'"  A shorter eerie condemnation may come in handy if you got one.
Write on your website how you will say these things and also say that when your deathly 'tour de death'  is made into a movie the lines should not be changed lest the artistic full circle effect, from web art to life to film art, be broken.  Discuss, on your website, who you think should play you in subsequent Hollywood dramatizations, "If it wasn't for Brad Pitt in 'Fight Club,' I probably never would've gotten the idea to pretend I was the alter ego of Pat Buchanan and gun down all those potential fetal killing teenage sluts that wouldn't go out on dates with me!!!"  Then list your favorite bands.

E-mail celebrities, politicians, and AOL customers with your plans.  Let as many people know at the last minute as you possibly can.
Call it a "self triggered digital alarm, a final cry for help that George, Orrin, Celine, everybody heard but nobody listened to." 
Include a section of pet pictures.
"Here is a younger me holding Mr. Whiskers.  I'm so sorry I'll never be holding him again after," then be very specific, "December 22nd. Goodbye Whisky, I love you."
Perfect!  Now everyone sees the child you once were and long to be again.  It's all so clear, so spelled out.  Your pain and hurt.  The desire you harbor for a simpler time.  The love of a child for a pet that never judged or teased or condemned turned to hate for a world that does nothing but.  Now include a list of the top ten reasons Madonna is a stupid no talent cunt.
And for kicks include the name of a very casual acquaintance and say no matter what he is not responsible for any of this and that he only did for you what he did out of a misguided respect.

That about wraps it up.  Now get to work on that website!  You don't necessarily have to commit to any actions described on your page.  If anyone asks any questions, smile and say it's just for laughs, and then laugh.  And then kill the stupid fucker who asked for thinking you might actually be capable of doing all the horrible things you so lovingly described yourself doing!!  Thank-you.

and don't forget to kill the pigs.

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