Paranoia Now! presents...
On March 7^th 1999, filmmaker, Stanley Kubrick died. It was 666 days until January first, 2001. "2001: a Space Odyssey" is Kubrick's vison of man's evolution, growth and rebirth through technology's assisstance. Is this coincidence? Is it crackpot to think that on the first of January, 2001, Stanley Kubrick will present the world with the rebirth of cinema? Is it paranoia to believe his death is a cover-up to further symbolize the rebirth of the art form when he himself is reborn too? Perhaps the rebirth of cinema is to be through a great technological innovation. By way of example, before ever seeing or using a steadicam, Kubrick had the sets of "The Shining" designed to fascilitate its use and artistry. Is Kubrick onto another new invention, and is currently working on the film to utilize it now? Are there not 7 letters each in Stanley's first, middle and last names? I don't know, but there might be. And if there are, isn't 666 taken from 777, 111? Let me rewrite that as," 01/01/01."

Further evidence for Stanley's return is suggested by the fact that he died just one day shy of the 2 year anniversary of being presented the D.W. Griffith Award by the Director's Guild of America in which he said on the video taped acceptance speech, "I have never been certain whether the moral of the Icarus story should only be, as is generally accepted, 'don't try to fly too high,' or whether it might also be thought of as 'forget the wax and feathers, and do a better job on the wings.'" Maybe 'flying to high' for Kubrick would be wallowing in the self-congratulatory nature of the award and to fake his death one day before the 2 year anniversary of acceptance was a way to spit in the awards eye, as if to say, "Now I shall spend more time to do a better job on the wings!" A better job on the wings being able to be done with his new 'secret' technology and away from the prying, scrutinizing media.
This isn't just more "Where's Elvis" paranoia. The evidence is propitious to the theory that his death was faked. Faked 141 days before his 71^st birthday (71 from 141 equals 70, his age on his death certificate.) These are crucial facts and not for tabloid marketing. Nobody's going to see Stanley Kubrick in line at the Seven-Eleven!

Next week, Paranoia Now! brings you, "Ridley Scott: He doesn't know he is a robot."

Well, as fun as all that was, there really isn't anything new to report. Earthlink keeps me hanging on the telephone. I do feel like I'm living with someone who has a good job since he had to fly out to Detroit to do some work for his employer, but that's just a feeling since my definition of 'Good Job' nowhere includes the phrase, "sixty plus hours per week." Maybe that's just me?
Everything went eerily smooth today. I picked up my check from TeleTech, and the guy handing over the check says conspiratorially, "Are you the one who made the schedule request with that stick figure?"
"Yeah," I say, reaching for my check.
"I liked it. I thought it was funny," said he.
"Thanks," I said, "I guess it sort of is. Well. Goodbye," and I left. Got in my car which I had illegally parked in a spot reserved for management and headed for the bank. Quote, unquote, illegally parking, at TeleTech is a big deal. The assholes there actually keep a tow truck circulating around the area so it can be called in to swiftly remove any offending vehicle. At the bank, there was no line. There was no hassle as I deposited and withdrew. Two transactions for one teller usually results in a seemingly painful angina affecting the teller's entire face. This time there were extenuating medical conditions to delay the process. Off again, this time to the Post office to mail out merchandise for Kirsten. The P.O. clerk was quick and helpful, working everything out to be as cost efficient as could be. Even the streets were relatively unclogged when the norm is to expect infarctions in large parts of the city do to the staving off of the traffic flow to the area. Why did everything go so smoothly? I'm expecting repercussions. Some serious lash backs of inconvenience for the ease of today.

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