El dia de gracias es muy importante para los hombres chicano porque ellos megustan llamas. Llamas somos la comida preferida por imigrantes latinos! Come una Llama rapido! Andele! Despues el llama come tu! Aaiiee!!!!

 I thought I might do the entire column in Spanish, but the only Spanish Monty Python taught me was a kind of Spanish where you babble insanely about llamas. It's fun, but not very interesting. I think the llamas are escapism for my failure to track down lefse for the Thanksgiving feast. To think I wanted to call myself a Bounty Hunter and I can't even find any damn lefse. Tracking down felons, fugitives from John Law, driving cross country fueled on nicotine, alcohol, women, and hatred of my fellow man. My aspirations weren't up to a Boba Fett level, but I thought I could do a passable IG-88 or lumpy-bandaged head guy job. Whatever the case may be, wherever one goes to apply for the position as Bounty Hunter, employers will want references. Soon as they ask about me and find out I misplace my keys and never even took up a little harmless sexual predation, they'll throw my application away. I suppose that depends on turn-over rate and how desperate the company is to get a Bounty Hunter. 'Position applying for: bounty hunter.' I put that down on my Wal*Mart application and they called me up asking questions about my hunting experience and how I felt about people that still didn't shop at Wal*Mart and the value of any man who would bad mouth Wal*Mart.
Microsoft is hiring Bounty Hunters on a more freelance basis. You can pick from a list of various congressmen, judges, journalists and some guy named Linus. 

The turkey is in the oven and that hideous thing that looks like Ron Jeremy's severed penis after a vivacious cheese grater fucking is in the garbage. Turkey neck is not for eating.
The people will be arriving soon for the feeding, and I've been spending entirely too much time on this computer. Not to no ends, however. The website is almost officially moved. It is moved. It's just not official yet. The links all need repair jobs. I also backed up this site onto diskette. My whole website fits on one 1.44mb diskette and there's ample room left over. My no graphics policy may soon come to an end. People like pictures, but I won't cotton to more than one picture per page and that picture must be accompanied by at least a paragraph of text. These are the rules. Heavily graphic laden webpage designers should try sucking a turkey neck down their throat without chewing to get an idea of the pain in the neck their stupid fucking pages of conceit and egotistical banality are to those of us without DSL or cable modems. Suck my turkey neck you llama felching simpletons! And be thankful while doing it!

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