The shuffle of dwellings continues as even more of my friends are picking up the scraps of their lives and hauling them off to other cities. I won't mention anyone by name by name but break-ups, evictions, get-togethers, oppurtunities, general disenchantment, and old fashioned wander lust is making it damn hard to keep track of some people. Madison's emptying out faster than the movie theater in "The Blob." They're running and screaming from the city, rats scuddling off the burning slave ship. I was one departed. These things seem to run in cycles. Soon everyone will be mundanely settled down again, slipping comfortably into repetition and complacency. Turmoil is always remembered easier and more fondly than other times of life. So everyone going through the shit now will have this time as a shared experience that will bind them stronger in times to come. When we're fat old millionaires or what have you. (A drunk, a pervert, a junkie and a womanizer, but you can call me the homilinizer.)

The ultimate peril of roommates is the need to take a big pipe clogging shit when one of your housemates is occupying the shower. If you're a guy, I don't care how comfortable or how well you know another guy that you live with, but you aren't going to plop your ass down on the toilet seat with a naked wet man a few feet from you behind a curtain. There is no ignoring the man behind the curtain. So you wait. And you turn on Jerry Springer. (almost a euphimism for masturbation: "turning on Jerry Springer.") You watch the people having their problems and you get caught up in their dramas of betrayal, double-crossing, double-fucking, and before you know it the wet man has left the bathroom and you don't have to go anymore. Where does that shit go? Where is this shit going? Nowhere. Change of topic.

I ran errands. That's the sort of ground breaking news worth taking up bits and bytes of space with. It is about as exciting as the watered down excuse for news posted on cnn.com. I wrote this screenplay called "Being Richard Ellis." People crawl up, into and through this fat whore's asshole and end up in my head where they scream in base terror for 15 minutes before being spit out on I-94 in Minneapolis during rush hour. What they see is me comparing the active ingredients list of cool mint listerine with that of a generic drug store brand. I discover they are identical and buy the cheaper generic stuff. Then they watch me write about it on the world wide web for all to read who find their way to it. The last thing they see is the front grill of some financial broker's Hyundai, and they are eternally grateful. This happens however many times it needs to to fill up the course of a ninety minute movie.

I'll say this L.A. sure does offer a life of excitement. Think I'll go take that generic Drug Emporium brand mouthwash for a test spin across the gums, tongue and teeth. Tantalize my taste buds with it's pepperminty tingling.Delight in the germ holocaust I'll create in my own body. To be a master of life and death, what more? What more?
Wish you were here.

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