Warning!!
The information held upon this page is of a delicate nature and should therefore not be read by the indelicate. Passages describing bizarre midget antics may be too much for some finer sensibilities. The midget acts detailed herein may change the way you feel about the 'Wizard of Oz' and other films featuring persons of diminutive stature such as 'The Brood' and 'Ewoks: The Battle For Endor.' Okay, you've been warned, now for the juicy stuff.

Was it performance art or just heedless drunken abandon? Regardless of which, the end result was a female midget in a bag being taken away by two men. If that's how it ended, then how did it begin. As always, with a measured dose of alcohol ignored for the larger unmeasured dose. The midget was at a party, getting fucked up. The fucked up midget laid down upon an antique couch. On the antique couch the midget began to pleasure herself. She vigorously massaged her clitorous as party goers looked on bemused and shocked. Then bemusement faded when the midget pulled out her tampon and began sucking on it like a flavored frozen treat straight from the icebox. That's right, she yanked it out and popped it in her mouth. Why? Taste? Texture? She wanted to induce toxic shock orally? Who knows. Finally, mercifully, she passed out. Then, she pissed on the couch, and pissed, and pissed until urine soaked the fabric and cushion and pissed until urine flowed down to the floor. The hostess screamed and panicked. The midget was carried up stairs to the bathroom and deposited in the tub. There, she continued peeing. She mumbled and bepissed herself. the hostess demanded the midget be taken away. They lined the back seat of a car with plastic bags and took the midget away. More information I do not have. Thus, ends the story of the midget.

On a message board, I requested the definition of the word "props" when used in phrases such as "Props to you," and "I got to give props to my homies." I was given the definition of the word, or at least what it means and its etymology. Then, the question was posed "From where do the terms "homes" and "homey" derive?
This was my answer:
Maybe homes and homey comes from homo-sapien, and/or hominid. maybe just "homo." Making the phrase "you are my homey," synonymous with "you and me are a lot alike." And we are all a lot alike even though differences are funner to jump on. To a sapient extra terrestrial anthropologist, whether you liked the Cowboys or Greenbay would be nothing next to the fact that you like to watch members of your species dress up in plastic armor, toss a leather air sack about while beating on one another. Like wise for sexual orientation and religion. Guys like to stick there little dickies in warm moist holes. This is of interest to the alien anthropologist, not where or on whom the warm moist hole that is being filled is. And further more, that so many of us firmly believe in really powerful invisible beings that affect our daily lives is far more significant to the alien anthropologist than whether or not those invisible guys are named "Dave" or "Scot." You see? Maybe you don't see, but why do I bring this up here?
I'm not sure, but I bet it has something to do with human frailty, mortality and that darn midget.

Earthlink called, interviewed me over the phone and wants me to test for them this Wednesday. I'll either be working at Earthlink or Teletech as of Nov. 8th if I fail the tests which is doubtful. I feel good about Earthlink since they have benefits and their CEO has had the balls to speak out against AOL on the grounds of first amendment rights. Cudos, then to that rich corporate earth fucker. Hey, maybe he's a nice guy! Nuh-uh, nice guys don't work those positions. After talking to gary at earthlink, I sat down and wrote a six page short story. I should get it posted sometime tomorrow. Read it if you want.

Oh, and how are the ads? Today is the day.

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